Amidst of all the pressure I am getting from my university life right now (Not to mention, we're actually making our presentation for our thesis proposal defense this Monday) still, here I am starting to write my first blog entry. I started blogging when I was still in my senior year in high school (I was using Tumblr that time) but eventually I stopped because I got busy and lazy. I tried blogging again during my first year in college but I stopped because again, I can't seem to find time writing blogs. And right now, I just wanna start blogging again. I feel like, this is what I wanna do. I want to express my thoughts about anything without giving a damn care of what other people may think about it. I wanna free myself, and I think through blogging, I can do that. Oftentimes, I have so many things bottled up inside me and I feel like I will burst if I don't let it out. So from now on, I will try my best to blog about anything when I find time. I promise. *crosses fingers*
' Kay so let me first tell you a lil bit about my dear self. My name's Ezra and yes, I am a hundred percent girl. People often tell me that my name's a boy name so I'm just like- "What's the big deal ? It's my name anyway and you can't do anything about it. I love it and I think it's really unique". I am 20 years old as of the moment and I am currently in my last year studying Bachelor of Science in Electronics and Communications Engineering. Yes, En-juh-nee-ring, dearie. I am gonna finish my degree this June 2016. HOPEFULLY. *prays really really really hard* I bet you'll be like "She's so intelligent because she took up engineering", "She probably just aces Math and Physics, and other numerical subjects". But hey, I don't think so. Seriously, I don't think I am like that. I don't find myself intelligent in Math and Physics and all other numerical subjects. Yes, engineering is HARD and I salute myself for having to take the challenge and for how far I've become but I don't think I'm good enough. I know I'm nearing the finish line but until now questions like "Is this really for me?", "Why am I even here?", "Am I doing it right?", "Where am I going after this?"- still constantly cross my mind a lot.
I don't know why but I can say I am kinda pessimistic about things. I fear many things and I overthink. This is the attitude that I wanna work on because I can say this is my weakness. I want to change so badly. I wanna see the positive side of everything. And I know no one can help me with that but myself. There's a quote I learned from my high school English teacher that I remember whenever I want motivation. And that is, "If you think you can, you can. But if you think you can't, you're right." And yes I know it's just all in the mind. It's just a matter of how we see things. Sometimes I feel like, I am so weak that I can't even make choices for myself. That's why until now I am constantly figuring out how to become a better version of myself. "The Ezra" that is stronger, wiser, and braver. I know everything happens for a reason. We struggle, we break down, and we have so many unanswered questions and confusions. But you see, that's just how life works. That's the beauty of it. In the end all of these things were meant for us to experience. There are lessons that we are meant to learn and I think we should be thankful for that. As for me, I am still a girl trying to figure out my place in this world. And I cannot wait for that day to come when I can truly say, "This is where I am meant to be." Peace Out!
I don't know why but I can say I am kinda pessimistic about things. I fear many things and I overthink. This is the attitude that I wanna work on because I can say this is my weakness. I want to change so badly. I wanna see the positive side of everything. And I know no one can help me with that but myself. There's a quote I learned from my high school English teacher that I remember whenever I want motivation. And that is, "If you think you can, you can. But if you think you can't, you're right." And yes I know it's just all in the mind. It's just a matter of how we see things. Sometimes I feel like, I am so weak that I can't even make choices for myself. That's why until now I am constantly figuring out how to become a better version of myself. "The Ezra" that is stronger, wiser, and braver. I know everything happens for a reason. We struggle, we break down, and we have so many unanswered questions and confusions. But you see, that's just how life works. That's the beauty of it. In the end all of these things were meant for us to experience. There are lessons that we are meant to learn and I think we should be thankful for that. As for me, I am still a girl trying to figure out my place in this world. And I cannot wait for that day to come when I can truly say, "This is where I am meant to be." Peace Out!
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